A day of firsteses

Is that even a word?

You know what: poetic license rules here. If I say it's a word, then golly gee surely it's a word (it is, but don't call me shirly).

Well, actually it's been more like a few days of firsteses. I shall chronicle them here for your further perusal and enjoyment:

First day wearing pants in a tropical climate:
Now this may seem like suicide, what with it being so hot that fish are laying eggs already fried (did I get that right??) and all. I certainly thought so when Dan told me that he never wore shorts. But it turns out that people here don't take you seriously here unless you're wearing pants. Evidently only kids wear shorts and once you reach adulthood and are considered an adult you don't wear shorts anymore.

Now since we all know that I a) want to be treated like an adult and c) want to be taken seriously by all my friends (wait, when did I ever say to take me seriously?), it only seemed logical to put a pair of pants on.

It actually wasn't that bad. I've got some microfiber pants and they're pretty breathable - so for the most part I get to stay comfortable AND be taken seriously by the cabbies (hey anything to get that fare from 3000 to 2500). It's really a win-win situation. Well, maybe only a win situation since I'm the only one winning, but that just doesn't have the same pzazz (how do you spell that anyways???).

First Senegalese meal:
Mom, you may want to skip this one. It ain't pretty...

Food in Senegal (I mean like, real Senegalese food...not like we haven't been eating real food...but sush I'm telling the story) is delicious. Yes, it's rice, fish, and vegetables. You know...everything they told us it would be. Pretty fragrant and savory. Overall tastes good.

Now the experience of eating food is...well let's just say it ain't like at home. Picture this:
You walk into a room. A colorful straw mat is sitting on the floor, with four cushions arranged in a circle. A kettle of water sits on top of a bowl off to the side. The head of the house brings in a large bowl, about 2 feet across, covered with large plate. He sets it down on the floor in the middle of the mat. Everyone pours water from the kettle over their hands, washing off any dust that might have accumulated throughout the day. The plate is removed revealing the deliciousosity beneath.

So what, you may be thinking. So they eat on the floor? Well, there's a little difference. It's kind of hard to eat without plates. And it's even harder to eat without silverware. Yeah, Mom, that's right. I'm eating with my hands. It's not even with little bread like Etheopian food with that bread stuff that you pick up the deliciousosity with. There's no bread. Just rice. And deliciousosity. So you pick up a ball of rice with your right hand (cause you know...you um...well...touch certain parts...well you wipe your butt with your left hand), then grab a chunk of whatever you want from the middle of the bowl, roll your rice and deliciousosity together into a ball (much much much harder than it sounds), open your mouth, insert ball, chew, swallow, repeat as needed. In reality, it's much harder, much messier, and much more fun. I've never been allowed to play with my food, but here I am, being told to roll my food into a ball and out of necessity, have to shovel it into my mouth all the while trying to get as little of the messy rice onto the floor and my lap.

So mom, when I come home and sit on the floor, refuse to use a fork and knife, and shovel the food into my mouth while avoiding my left hand like the plague, don't worry. It's just a habit I've picked up here and I'm sure I'll grow out of it (riiiiight)...

Oh by the way, if this post is under par, you know, less than the excellence in writing that you have come to expect from me (wait...excellence? in writing? you must be reading the wrong blog...) you can blame Karly, she's in here trying to make plans for dinner, effectively distracting my focus from more pressing matters.

First Senegalese proverb:
"Guests are like farts: they may kill you, but they will pass with the wind."

There are some things that are just best left unexplained.

First ride on public transportation:
Yes, I braved the streets of Dakar on a Car Rapide (get ready for the most cliche joke ever) which, despite their name, aren't all that rapide. They're actually quite slow. And quite crowded. And quite chaotic. and loud. But I made it out of the experience alive, and will surely be taking it more often (its about 90865% cheaper than taking a cab - wait does that math even add up?).

First fly killed with my bare hands:
So I don't know if you've heard but this place is crawling with flies like um...bees to honey (??????). And apparently in Senegal, you're not considered a real man until you've killed a fly with your bare hands while taking a cold shower. It's some sort of right of passage thing or something. I don't know, I don't make the rules (except for maybe this one). But yeah, turns out killing flies is really not that hard to do. Just be patient, like anything else in life.

Actually, what real Senegalese do is just..well just ignore them. They're used to it. So that'll be my goal for soon.

But seriously, it's so satisfying killing them. And flies are annoying.

That's about all the firsts up to now. I'm sure you'll hear all about my first bout of chronic traveller's diaherrea (well, maybe I'll spare you that one). Next time be prepared for an in-depth look at the emotional curve and follow my journey from my honeymoon phase to my hostile phase to my humor phase to my home phase...I'll explain it all a little bit later. Should be delightful. Stay tuned next week, same bat time, same bat channel.

Love
Jake

PS - apparently pluto's not a planet? Whats going on? What is my aunt sally going to steal from uncle ned? My faith in the status of the universe is destroyed if They can just add and subtract planets from our solarsystem at will. I for one don't like it. It's too much power in these guys' hands. I mean, pretty soon there goes neptune and uranus (and all the delightfully immature jokes that come with a name like that), then saturn and jupiter...then mars. Before you know it we won't be living on a planet anymore...

I for one won't stand for it.