Bakel by the Numbers

So Ian and I went to Bakel this weekend which (sorry for EVERYONE whose already heard this line but it’s the only one I’ve got) is about as far as you can get away from Dakar without leaving Senegal. Let me illustrate for you. If Dakar is here ---->, than Bakel would be all the way over on Karly’s blog. But down at the bottom. Hidden in her archives. All the way at the back and buried somewhere between her first and second battles with the cockroaches (how it got there is beyond me). Along the Senegal river. Next to Mauritania. (Karly’s blog can be found over there by the way ------->).

For lack of a better way to tell this story were going to do it by the numbers…read on fearless adventurers, read on.

Number of hours traveled: 24+
Let’s see how this breaks down…we might need a few more sets of (sub?) numbers to do this right…

Dakar to Kaolak: 4 hours by sept places.
That’s French for station wagon packed with seven people. And the driver. Yeah, It’s cozy. Kind of like everything else in Africa. We spent the night in Kaolack (its kind of a dump – I wouldn’t back unless I had to). Friday morning we left for Tambacounda.

Kaolak to Tambacounda: 6 hours by Alham.
That’s Arabic for a white van (you know the scary kind that’s always seen around murder scenes, bank robberies, and other instances of mass mayhem) packed with people…which brings me to our next number (and our first sub-sub-numbers):

Number of people you can fit in an Alham (driver not included): 20.
There’s only room for 18. But like I said. Africa’s cozy. Kids will sit on anyone’s lap (unless you’re puking). Which brings me to…

Number of times you can puke in 4 hour on an Alham: Five.
No it wasn’t me that was puking. It was the woman I was sitting next to. I can even tell you what she had for lunch (Yassa). Did I mentioned I got puked on? Yeah it was delicious. Ok, so after we got to Tambacounda we left for Bakel.

Tambacounda to Bakel: 3 hours by sept places. As this was the end of our journey there, we’ll move on to the more exciting bits of the weekend.

Number of goals I almost failed to meet this weekend: 2
Coming to Africa I had only two goals: 1) Don’t die, and C) stay out of African jails. As it would happen, I both almost died and got arrested. It’s true. On the trip from Tamba to Bakel we got stopped by a police officer. He checked our papers and even started to search the car. Now while I was doing nothing illegal, my companion, Ian, happens to be in the country without a visa. Which I think means he’s illegal (ohhhh man I hope this doesn’t get him into trouble…). Luckily the police officer thought that his (expired) Mauritanian visa meant that he was up to no trouble and didn’t arrest us. Now I know what you’re thinking, how can twobabs be arrested for one toubab’s bad papers? Well I don’t know but the story is definitely more exciting that way. And that’s what I’m going for here. Now how I almost died.
Coming back to Dakar, I developed a killer headache. I’m talking like there’s a baby T-rex that’s waking up and about to hatch Zeus-style from my forehead (you know you liked that classical Greek reference). Except before hatching babyRex is going to sharpen his claws on my skull. Not fun. Even less fun when your neck gets stiff as an oscillating fan that…well doesn’t oscillate anymore. Even less fun when you’re overheating and feel like your body is about 10000 degrees. After consulting my Lonely Planet, I decided that I had either a bad case of dehydration (I guess a 3 hour hike through the African desert without so much as a bottle of water will do that to you) and/or malaria and/or heatstroke. Which pretty much is not what you want to happen in Africa. Luckily I feel better now and am (for the moment) still alive and kicking (though thankfully the babyRex isn’t). But that’s the reason you’re all getting this post on Tuesday and not Monday. Cause yesterday I felt like I was going to give birth through my forehead.

On a related note: everyone at CIEE seemed to be sick yesterday (Monday). Am I the only one that thinks that this, while sucking a whole whole lot, is really funny at the same time? I mean what are the odds? Seriously there were like 15 kids who weren’t even in class, another three or four who left early (I myself came in late), and I think I only met one girl who wasn’t sick. Seriously. It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

Number of goats you can fit on a sept place: 10+
This is one of the things that goes under the heading “craziest things I’ve ever seen.” En route from Bakel to Tambacounda (on the way back home) we stopped on the side of the road to pick up a couple of passenger (we had an extra place in the car and well I guess the driver needed the money). No problem right? Except we see that they’ve got about 12 suitcases with them. There’s no way they can fit all that stuff in the car. Its gonna have to go on top. So they cram as much of the suitcases as they can in the trunk and load the rest on top of the car (no problem, there’s a rack for that exact purpose).
Then come the goats. One by one. Ian and I are sitting in the car as they bring the goats from behind a tree or under a hat or somewhere crazy and start heaving them up on top of the car. We’re counting…four…five…six. That’s it right? They can’t put anymore up there. Well, they can. And they did. I have to say I didn’t think they could fit all those suitcases and 10 goats in/on the car. But the driver did it. And here’s the kicker…if it weren’t for the suitcases that were on the top, there could have easily been 15+ goats up there. And that’s a conservative estimate. Again…the craziest thing I’ve ever seen.

Number of times I almost got goat peed/spat on: 15
The goats only peed twice (thankfully) and (thankfully) the guys in front had the smarts to close the windows (an Alhumdulilaa if I’ve ever used one). But there was one goat who must not have liked very much the taste of car exhaust (lord knows why) and would spit every 10-15 minutes. We’re not talking little lugies either. We’re talking cover the window in spit. I mean this goat had volume. It was nuts.

Number of showers taken: 0
No, that’s not a typo. Zero showers taken. In four days. Not to mention I didn’t have a change of clothes. Saying that I was filthy is so much of an understatement its ridiculous. I mean I had been puked on (though it was only a little bit…and on my pants too..but still), almost goat peed/spat on, not to mention that Bakel is right up next to the desert which means its really dusty and really hot. Which means that not only did I sweat like the fat kid in gym class, but the dust would kick up and stick to me. When I got back home and finally took a shower, it wasn’t until my third washing with soap and water that the water ran off me cleanish. Like I said. I’m talking dirty. Even Devon wouldn’t have touched me. I was that gross. I didn’t even want to touch me.

Number of people that can ride the bike that my dad just bought: 2 (at the same time!)
Yes, that’s right. My dad just bought a bike built for two. This one goes under the heading of “greatest things my dad’s found at a yardsale” right up there with that painting of the dude in the sombrero and all the other ridiculously awesome stuff he’s bought that my mom wants to throw away. I know you’re jealous. Now Devon and I can ride down the street singing that song that goes something like “and then we’ll meet along the street on a bicycle built for two.” So how about it Devon? You bring your helmet, I’ll bring the bike…and then we’ll meet…Along the street…With our bicycle built for two…

(wait, did he really just try and pull that?)

Alright, that’s it for the numbers. Check out my pictures later this week (the link is over there ----->). I’ll update them on Thursday inchallah.

Love,
Jake

PS – on a completely unrelated note…Michael Jackson’s “Number One’s” album is probably the greatest thing that has yet to be unleashed in Africa. Especially “Thriller.” Best. Song. Ever.